


I write too much Lams angst

by Hamiltalian



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 11:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14933286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamiltalian/pseuds/Hamiltalian
Summary: “We can’t keep this up forever.”“I hate you.”“Don’t leave me…”“I never meant to hurt you.”





	I write too much Lams angst

 John and Alexander were, for the most part, just like any other couple. They dated, they kissed, they kept their roommates up all night every once in a while. But for the most part didn’t always mean that little details were off. After all, most was anything over half. And one detail about their relationship did come pretty close to that.

“John?..” Alexander began as he laid beside his boyfriend, clothed this time.

“Yeah? What’s up?” John smiled.

“You know…” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I think it’s time we break this off.”

In a flash, John’s smile disappeared and he sat up, unable to believe what he’d just heard. “What?”

Alexander sighed and sat up. “Well, we can’t keep this up forever. Don’t you remember? I told you that I wanted to convince everyone we were dating just to get Eliza off of my back.”

John felt his blood run cold. He did remember…

* * *

It had been a day when the two were just sitting in John’s dorm, just watching movies.

“John, I need a favor. Like a huge, huge favor.”

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

“Well… You know Elizabeth Schuyler?”

John thought for a second, then nodded. “Yeah, she’s in my biology class. She’s pretty cool. Do you… Like her?” John had known he was gay for a while and he knew that he liked Alexander, but he also believed that Alexander was straight. Even if he wasn’t which he wasn’t, John thought it was best to stay friends and not ruin their friendship.

“No, but she likes me and I don’t know how to reject her. You know who her father is, she could ruin me in the snap of a finger.”

“Okay.. So, how does this involve me?” John’s own father was as influential as Elizabeth’s, but the two weren’t exactly on good terms, not then or ever.

“I want you to fake date me. Like… that way, she’ll think I’m gay and lose interest…” Suddenly, John’s previous reservations about dating Alexander went out the window.

“Yeah, I think I could do that.”

“Are you sure?.. You don’t think that’ll make things weird between us as friends?”

Yes. “No, everyone says we act like a couple, anyways.”

Alexander smiled. “Thanks, man. So.. This is a weird question… Would you be willing to kiss me, if that comes up?..”

John convincingly pretended to think about that before nodding. “Yeah. I mean, it’s just a kiss. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything.” He shrugged.

“Great! You are the best friend ever!” Alright. John would be lying if he said that that didn’t sting a bit.

* * *

John shook the memory from his head. That was a whole year ago, but he remembered it like it was yesterday. “I remember…”

“And Eliza has a girlfriend now. There’s no need for us to date, you know?”

“I…” John got up and turned to face him. “So.. You took my virginity to get some girl to leave you alone? You think that’s okay?”

Alexander sighed. “John, come on. You said you were okay with it and we had to convince everyone somehow.”

“And you didn’t even stop to think that maybe I actually liked you at some point?.. That, maybe, acting like boyfriends to that extent would make me wish it was true?”

Alexander looked at John with a shocked expression. He hadn’t thought about that… “John… Are you saying what I think you are?”

John swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. “I’m in love with you… And you don’t give a damn…”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve found someone else.”

He scoffed. “You don’t get it…”

“What don’t I get? You’re mad because you think I took advantage of your feelings.”

“No, I’m mad because you think that’s what I think. I’m mad because you’re just throwing away this whole year because Eliza got over you. I’m mad because I’m humiliated. I thought that something happened between us in this time.” He sighed. “Clearly, I thought wrong. I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going?..”

“Anywhere that you’re not. I can’t even look at you right now. I hate you.”

Finally, Alexander began to understand, a pained expression on his face. “John… I’m sorry… I just didn’t think you’d mind… I didn’t think you’d ever like me that way… Please don’t leave me…”

“Too late for that. Goodbye, Alexander.” John walked out of the room and out of the apartment, with no idea where to go.

“I never meant to hurt you…”

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone interested in commissioning me for one shots can email me at slashgashotaku@gmail.com for details.


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